Gifts of Nix

(Mom and typical readership, you might want to skip this one. It might bother you.)

The following is an example of a peculiar state I sometimes experience. I don't know what to call it. It isn't as deep as trance or dream. It seems to be a state of consciousness in between. (Of course! I live in the between places!) There were some interesting images in this one and it wasn't as personal as usual (though it is still personal, as all mystic experiences are), so I decided to share it. I don't enter the state all at once. It's more like a smooth take-off in an airplane. As such, there is information at the beginning and end that came from an incomplete immersion in the altered state. I thought it was important to include, both because it makes more sense that way and because I want people who experience this (chronically or in the future) to see what the process is like for me, hopefully to feel more comfortable with their own experiences. I think the transition is fairly obvious but keep in mind that it is a transition, there is no place it starts or stops really. It begins with me well on my way there, taxying down to the runway, so to speak. There is a star (*) next to the line that indicates I'm pretty fully there, two (**) for the beginning and end of the peak immersion, and one (*) at the point I was completely out. During these experiences, I'm often talking to a particular person. He's sort of my anchor to mutual reality when I get like this. I used to go in deeper before I had someone to talk to, but it took me to a level of disconnection from mutual reality that I can't really afford to explore much these days, and I couldn't keep a record when I got like that. Point being, this is a transcript of our messenger conversation throughout the experience. I've redacted a lot of what he said, both because I don't feel I have the right to share more of his words than necessary and because, honestly, when I was fully immersed in the experience, I didn't notice he was saying anything, so it would only disrupt the translation of my experience to your consciousness. His remarks, when included, are given in parentheses and italics. (Such as this.) Other remarks in parentheses are my own annotations, though I offer few of these (maybe only one, in fact) for the same reason I don't offer many of his remarks. The only other changes I've made are to correct typos. It would be utterly incomprehensible otherwise because I hardly spelled a word in twenty correctly. Punctuation or lack thereof are original. ***A final note, the situation at the beginning is intentionally left vague; please do not attempt to draw conclusions about it or either party. Just intuitively lose yourself in the words and images.***

 

Darkness and depression can offer transcendent experiences, even healing, if you surrender yourself to the waves instead of fighting to stay afloat. If there is anything you take from this, let it be that. 

 

*********************************************************************

 

We made an offering TOGETHER to YOUR goddess on MY altar. No matter what I'm technically free to do I'm not free in my heart. "I'll go into your land and your gods shall be my gods" I'm not free in my heart. And it's not enough. Nothings enough. And I hate myself.

I don't want anyone but you. I just want more of you. And I can't have that.

And it makes me want to rip out my fucking heart and eat it

And pour the blood on your head screaming this is yours

 Pain is fire. Fire is ash. Ash is life. I just want death

(Tries to explain the situation from his perspective.)

You don't understand at all

(No, I don't.)

That's kind of it.

(Expresses his reasons for that night's events.)

It's not just tonight. That was just the empty space that allowed my crazy to walk free

The crazy was already there

I think I'm crazier than you even. You see things other people can't see. I love things that aren't even real

Impossible stupid things.

It only exists in my head in my dark bright little brainmaginationarium

Willow wisps and fairy tales and other horror stories fit only for children who dont understand the horror

The fucking horror of hope

Hope for little birds to be friends with a fox who will only eat them

Even tho the fox wants nothing so much as birdy friends to help her fly

*But foxes live underground

In the dark secret places only foxes know and go

And foxes cant fly

They can only bury themselves alive

Pretty little birdsongs

All foxy can do is listen from the cold silence of her cave

And cache

And cache

And cache

And fucking pounce

Bye bye birdy

Foxes shouldn't hunt birds

Let alone try to love them

Foxes fit only for pouncing on dirty crawling things

(I'm not a bird.)

Yeah huh. Fly away birdy free in the clouds

Doing happy sky dances with the other freelings

Bye bye foxy. Bury yourself like a cache

Hope you dont rot

Ice

Maybe I should be ice

Come and eat me mr wight you've already had a taste

Im sweet snd sour flavored

Ice doesn't let things rot. They dont go back to ash. They stay frozen in timeless death. A sick yet sweet parody of life

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe im tasty to ice

Oh wouldn't it be nice

Beach boys. How inappropriate

**Iiiiiiiiim just an empty shell hanging on a bad love spell. Oh hello purple suit man have we met before?

Is that hell back there? cuz it looks like it has rides

I like the one with the swans

All seven sisters die in that one you know

Lucky swans

What? Its not 7 its 7 !

7 is like intuition. Mine requires repairs

My psyche wouldn't pass inspection

Did you know there are two 7s? I didn't until purple suit man told me

I think it was purple suit man

But it was hard to say in the fog and the bending over

I wonder who he is

Hes like a gatekeeper

Oh hello goat

Youre quite a gracious host

I quite like the swans

Were they black before?

I dont think they were

Trace the trailwayguy on down city streets cant ever catch him bc he knows youre asleep!

He wears red with yellow spots

But he also wears shadows

The executive shaman carries a burn bag. But its plastic. Its a shred bag. And he talks like the 50s

Executive shaman knows where to go

Right to the books and through them through them through them

I don't like executive shaman but he likes me

He says hey you do roots. I do skyscraper

And I say yeah brother you need roots

And he says its in the paper in the books. Theyre just screaming trees

Why does he shred? is it because of the screaming?

Youd think theyd scream anyway

Maybe hes setting the trees free

Maybe the roots are prisons

Maybe trees want to fly too

(What are you channeling?) (This message included because it knocked me into the next image.)

I saw something

Someone gave you a mandala

And youre standing on it

And thats why youre here

But its good.

Everyone else is spinning spinning spinning and theyre gonna go whiiiiiizzzzzzz slam but youll be in the middle still standing

You were a lady

Youre beautiful

And very nice feet!

Youre so beautiful

Come live with me and be my love beautiful lady

And I'll shear the sheep

And make you fine garments of their wool

And when we eat I'll make you soft moccasins for your beautuful feet

The mandala was a tree too

So many trees

Everything is trees

The trees are better than us you know

More productive

And knowing their prison they are more free

They use their prison for their energy

Smart sneaky trees

**Fog creeps in on cat paws and so does sleep

Dont know how much longer I can fight the dark lady and her starry cloak

Nix innana oblivion me

Spreading wings of dark energy

(What?)

I dont know thats just what they told me

Its gone

No more sight or sleep

Only weep weep weep

*What the hell did I say?

 (Umm a lot.) 

All I remeber is something about swans and trees. And I remember the part about you on the mandala. You were so beautiful. It was the inside you, manifest.

(I'm reading the old messages now.)

Omg this shit is hilarious

 

7 is like intuition mine requires repairs. Hahahaha

 

(Yeah it was kind of a word salad.)

 

A lot of it makes sense to me. I can see some of the images again when I read it. Just not as clearly.

I have no idea how there are two sevens. I think it has something to do with polarity

 

They were different colors

 

Someone was telling me about them

But all I was allowed to say was that there are two

 

Why did you say you didn't want to be the reason that was going on? Do you think it was bad?

 

(It seemed like it had that potential)

 

 

Oh. I feel fine. Much improved actually. I really want some macaroni salad.

 

My own still beating heart no longer sounds appetizing so that's probably good.

 

I remember what that felt like though. I finally understand human sacrifice I think

 

Like on a visceral level, rather than as an archaeologist.

 

*****************************************************************************

 

And then we started talking about things that aren't mine to disclose. I hope that was somewhat interesting to lose yourself in for a bit. If any of the images resonate with you, or if you're just curious, or if you have questions about altered states of consciousness, or want to talk about your own experiences, or even if you're just lonely, please feel free to share in the comments or contact me by email at lpbridge0902@gmail.com. Blessings and blessings! 

 

 

Permanence through Impermanence

My lover is both the cause and the consternation of my love. Inception came easily, though it occurred without conception. And now are we to hang apart at the first stumbling block? It is said a hot flame burns but briefly, though surely in that selfsame fire the tinder is just as assuredly consumed. And what remains? Hot white ash. The pure essence of the life that was. And with the introduction of a rain, fertile fuel for further life. To grow, be nourished, and consumed again. Is what is true of the river true of the fire? That it is never at any moment the same? Yet as the mist rises, snow falls, renewing the wellspring with that inherent and self-evident essence, though it has experienced many incarnations in between. May not also the essence of the fire breath again in that cyclic transmutation, burning, renewing, growing and dying, in eternal combustion? A fleeting thing, a moment.  A single flower in a carnival parade, speaking the aroma of every flower in every parade. And a thing intangible as love surely is as mutably constant as a flower or a flame.

The Champion and The Queen

The Champion and The Queen
An Accurate Account
A Champion and a Queen
Met in the Between
Trading language like cards
Over intangibles

Come and see said the Champion
And they ventured the Moon Garden
Wading the river of rainbows
Under the wings of Temperance

Come and see said the Queen
And he arose above her 
Rending open their hearts
Cut out distilled

Come and see said the Champion
And he unveiled aflame
An avenging angel
Burning beauty Morning Star

Come and see said the Queen
And they battled in the sea
And there was light
And there was a darkness in the light

And the darkness was the Body
And the light was the Self
And the Queen understood
Shadow

Cleansing Unwanted Energies

I recently realized that a large part of the spiritual counseling I do is helping people design custom rituals and affirmative prayer plans, so I decided to make it official and changed all my professional profiles to reflect that aspect of my work. The majority of the work I do in that field is related to cleansing of unwanted energies. In giving this sort of counsel to a friend tonight, I realized it could make for an informative blog installation, since it seems to be a common issue. Because I've been doing readings all day, I'm sort of expended for now and need to recharge for a while, so I hope you'll forgive me for just copy/pasting what I wrote to my friend with only minimal editing. Hopefully I can come back and refine it later.

It [the appropriate method of cleansing] depends on the situation. You can be as simple or complex as you want, from just walking widdershins around your house with some sage to lemons, pennies, sage, sandalwood, dragon's blood, salt, and invocation of Archangel Michael (I could go on). Are you just doing spring cleaning? Are you trying to clean out the energy of a specific person? Are you trying to get rid of a troublesome entity? One of my specialties as a spiritual counselor is ritual design and affirmative prayer. If you'd like me to design a custom ritual,  PM me with further details. However, my basic "get rid of the bad vibes" routine is to start in the East and walk around to North (as opposed to ordering out the bad by walking widdershins, I sort of just push it out with the good by walking deosil -I skip a step by condensing them together. It's essential with any energy work that you mindfully replace any energy banished or expended), finishing in Center, calling in the helpful qualities of each element as I go along. I simultaneously do a visualization of all the unwanted energy (which I see as black tar) flowing down out of the environment, into a ball which I see as penetrated by blue light from above (cosmic energies) and green light from below (earth energies), transmuting the energy while I tell it "Go do something useful!" There are lots of variations of that basic idea, different people see it differently depending on what symbols work for them (we all have our own symbolic dictionary). You can cleanse yourself before or after, they both have merit. I tend to do both. The one before, I do a chakra cleansing meditation and grounding; the one after, I sage myself and do the same visualization of myself as I did with the environment. Then close chakras, wrapping self in a protective layer of energy, unless there is further work to be done, in which case do that after all work is completed, stopping to recharge whenever necessary.

Fear and Love

You frequently hear from spiritualists, "Choices come from either a place of fear or a place of love." I realized recently that even those based in fear ultimately come from a place of love. For example, a fear of losing your job is rooted in a love of family and self, the need to provide for them. A fear of losing a loved one is the most obvious example of fear from love. So to transform a fear response into a love response is to identify the root love of the fear. Just focusing on the love will transform your thought pattern from one of negativity, lack, and limitation into one of hopefulness, gratitude, and determination. 

The more I think on this concept, the more the fear thoughts seem to be based on love of self. I recentlty read a statement from the Dalai Lama about how focusing on helping others can help us help ourselves. It puts our troubles in perspective and allows us to let them rest a while. In my experience, helping someone find a solution to their problem often reveals the solution to your own.

Usually I would wrap this up in a nice summary but, to be honest, I don't have this concept wrapped neatly in my own head yet. Neither tape nor bow in sight. So help me out, let's talk about it. Tell me what thoughts you have on this in the comments below.

Nature's Wisdom for a Beautiful Life

Today I'm featuring a guest post from my friend Fatima Sissoko. She originally posted this on Facebook and it was so beautiful and true, I just knew it belonged here! For more from Fatima, please visit her blog Charmed and Strangerous.

Naturally, Human Nurture
Whenever I hear people discussing and lamenting over how people change, I like to remind myself that humans can always learn from Nature, whence we came and where we will return after our stint here on Earth.
When people grow cold and indifferent and their long record of loyalty and commitment grow shorter like autumn days, remember that vegetation copes with the colder months by shedding their superficial layers.
Remember that underneath is a network of roots and support systems that keep the plant alive. Then so must you, finding those people who are willing to keep you alive during your hardships, who are willing to act as your hearth when others are chilled towards you.
There are some people, though, that seem dormant, static, unresponsive, but all they need are the right conditions to bloom and to thrive. Some people are born hardy but only bloom when they have enough of the right resources to nourish their beauty. They are waiting for their morning chill to give over to new springs of life.
And when you find dead parts about you, parts that may be holding you back or, perhaps, even killing you slowly, remind yourself to prune those parts of you in order to see more growth in your future. Worry less about the loss of the living and focus more on unloading the burden of dead weight, so that you don’t break yourself under the pressure.
Remember that there is no sadness coded in the cycles of Life. Be reassured that what goes around will surely come back around to remind you that love, happiness, pain, beauty, and death are all the same word for human nature because to be human is to mimic creation in all its forms, including the first frosts that signal the onset of closing chapters.
And lastly, remember that which we miss and those who we cherish are demonstrated in our abilities to survive icy, winter storms. To fashion better stories we first have to live to tell our tales.

Usually I would write something pithy and poignant here but I simply can't follow Miss Sissoko's wonderful words. Bravo, Tima, and encore!

And, as always, double underlined links/ads are not my doing. They are generated without my consent and I have no control over the content.

True Love

Just a thought before I drift off to Dreamland...

I just got back from the Yami Bolo show. He sang a song which goes, in part, "Jah Jah give me true love. I need not search no more." I really don't know if he said this or not, because I don't believe he generally does, but at one point I heard "Jah Jah teach me true love." And I think, yes, that IS the point. Receiving God's perfect love teaches us how to give that same love to others.

Blessings! 

A note on the video: It was the only vid of this song I could find using the Blogger link embed feature. Usually doesn't sound quite like this. I'm betting it's because he's apparently playing with a recording here. Tonight he was playing with a live band and they were hot like fire! (Pictured above, at top.) If you follow the link by clicking the word "song" in the third sentence it SHOULD take you to a better version. For some reason it comes up as a totally different video when I try to embed it.



As always, a warning not to click the uninvited links.